Kun asked me to go, thinking the whole afternoon whether should i go or not.
All that's going thru my mind at the point of time was this:
I will be wondering and looking around the whole time.
I will feel anxious, scared, worried, yet excited at the same time.
one part of me wants to see her but another part of me prays i will not bump into her.
if i do see her - myheart will stop, damn omg what should i do now?? starts to panic. i will be at a loss of what to do/say. worse if she sees me too.
if i dont - my heart will sink. I wonder where she was, what she was doing, who she was with. I'll be glad I didnt bump into her, yet secretly wish to catch a glance of her.
Sigh, but if i dont go, i wouldnt be studying at all. Which is quite bad, since my exams are around the corner too.
She feels that i'm distracting her studies, but the fact is that she distracted me from studying.
With all these things going on, how am i supposed to study in peace.
Everything is easier said than done.
Some can say just study la, fuck care xia.
if this was so easy, they wouldnt be so many suicide case right?
Or what? Cut wrist etc blah blah blah.
Dont know whether is this fate or what, Shi Jie asked me to go his church on Sat.
Has god decided to lift me up, to have faith in him, to ask me to go to him?
I dont know, seriously dont know.
But i have decided drop by his church this saturday.
Some how or another, it gives me the feeling, that god is calling out to me.
Kun is really very very nice, being asking me to study this few days.
He knows i couldnt study alone, and whenever i'm dazing he will slap my shoulder.
But thats good, cuz when i'm dazing i'm thinking of her.
But the bad thing is, i had to travel to NTU to study.
