what the hell?

If u're friendly, people say u're flirt

if u're nice, people say u're hypocrite

if u're concern, people say u're fake

what the hell?

In this god damn whole 7years, i only had 2 r/s. If u think i'm flirt? It's probably u're useless, so stop judging me using that superficial means of yours.

I dont go around saying "i miss you" to every girl or stuff like "i wouldnt mind doing this just for you", or "i'm waiting for you">

I'm tired of "you look like a player" too, sickening.

Just to make myself clear :)

final round

i passed my final round :)

tml will be my medical, hope everything shun shun

good news

i actually pass the first 4 rounds of the interview

tml will be my final 2 rounds, nervous and excited

*hyperventilating*

Grew up

the biggest enemy is not others but yourself.

If you conquer yourself, u're ready to conquer the world.

I dare to say, i'm ready to conquer the world.

Jealousy, self denial, conceit are just additional emotions.

Explore ur weakness, and improve to be a better person :)

Me

If you think i'm childish, if u think i cant grow up.
Sorry, you're wrong.

I merely retain my child like self, i'm matured just that i choose to be childish :)

hmmmmmm

有一些事不是说忘就能忘，不是说睡一觉起来一切都没发生过。

我觉得我总是活在自己的回忆里，人家常说爱得越深恨得越深。

我还在弥补我的过失，失就是失去的失。

每天读着man are from mars, and woman are from venus,没事没事就看看爱情偶像剧。

虽然一点都不真实，但是看着人家幸福的爱情里画上一个句点，总有一种甜蜜的感觉。

在路上走着走着，看着每个人幸幸福福的手牵着手，心里总会感到一点低落。

Everyone asked me, had i moved on?

Confidently i'll tell them yes i have, but deep within me. Had I?

How many times, there's a chance right infront of me and i let it slipped pass me again and again and again.

An invisible phobia, especially towards schooling girls, who's in Poly, or in Uni. Because I just dont feel secure, i dont feel secure at all. I'll have the mentality they'll be unhappy and meet some new guy and then just dump me aside.

What everyone sees are what i choose to show, what's actually inside me only i'll know. I may seem to be optimistic, cheerful, playful and enjoying myself. But how many people actually uncover that layer of cocoon and see what's beneath it? A defenseless naked caterpillar lying there helplessly. Thinking bout the stupid and lame breakup reasons back then, thinking what have i done wrong.

I cannot be like Edmond, one after another, moving on so swiftly.

I cannot be like Kun, so happily tgt with his love one.

I cannot be like Mingtai, happily enjoying his life of solitude.

This darkness, at times, is so dark that i lose my direction. I love my family, and all my best friends are like my brothers. All of you are part of my family, that is to say, if something happen to me you all wouldnt be here, i'm okie with it. But if something happen to you guys, i'll be there immediately.

When listening to my mp3 playlist, people always ask me, why i like to listen to emo songs. Actually i'm used to listenng to emo songs, to the extend that i had no idea i'm listening to emo songs. Some how i find that, it suits my mood. So am i right to say i'm feeling emo everyday? I doubt so right?

Some times people asked me, had i moved on?

My answers will be, "i still look at her facebook"

Some times, when i go to Hougang Mall, there'll be alot of fond memories. So i choose not to go there as much as possible. I use to study at Kovan everyday and i switched to Rivervale Plaza.

People also asked me, if given a 2nd chance what will i do?

I have no idea, joke of the day indeed.

Because anyone in a clear state of mind will say Hell No.

Some times people asked me why i like to sigh?

I'll say, i have no idea. Just some habit i develop after April Fool.

Some times people asked me, why i still have her photos in my hp. Why dont wanna delete?

i have no idea too, i dont look at it too. I just have it, and it just happened to be there.

I missed the feeling of having someone to be there when you need them, having the shoulder to lie on, knowing everything will be fine as long as the someone is there.

some times

Some times u missed someone so much but u just didnt have the courage to drop the person an sms. Firstly, cuz you afraid the person doesnt reply you, 2ndly, you're afraid the person might find you irritating.

How ironic, things are so much better and comfortable when we're friends. Isn't that true? Edmond? hahahhaa

Live in the past

The most scary thing in life is to live in the past, to think bout what happened in the past. Wondering how nice things will be if it turn out this way or remain as it is.

Living in the past blind us, giving us a misconception that things happening around us are bad or rather the past was so good that the present seems to be dull.

Why must we allow ourselves to indulge in things that can never be turned back upon?

If we live in the past, we're not giving ourselves a chance to look at what's happening around us. We must understand one thing, time doesnt wait for me, neither does it wait for you nor you. Even if we stopped now, refuse to move an inch, time will wait no one. Everything around you will con't to move, ur neighbour will con't to wake up at 7am to go to work, their son will catch the school bus at 710am, the maid will water the plant at 730am, Channel news asia will con't to broadcast morning news.

We must be strong, only if we're strong then we are independent. When we are independent, people will depend on us because we are reliable. Reliability gives people a sense of security. Nothing is easy, but there's nothing call impossible. The only impossible barrier is ourselves, if we conquer ourselves, we're ready to conquer anything.

Cheer up, be happy and be who you are. We are who we are and not what others want us to be.

When things go wrong

1. I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.

2. I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.

3. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary.

4. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.

5. He descended into hell. On the third day he rose again.

6. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

7. He will come again to judge the living and the dead.

8. I believe in the Holy Spirit,

9. the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints,

10. the forgiveness of sins,

11. the resurrection of the body,

12. and life everlasting.

Amen.

working

When i start working

i wanna buy a new TV for my parents

i wanna buy a new fridge for my parents

i wanna buy a new washing machine for my parents

i wanna bring my parents go for a movie

i wanna bring my parents for holiday

i wanna give my parents a better life. . . . . . .

Isnt that why i'm studying so hard for?

Yes, that's the reason why i'm studying so hard for, so that they will be proud of me :)

做好男人被人欺，我不想再做好男人了

exams coming

so excited, exams coming means exams gonna be over!!!

not yet started yet i cant wait for it to end hahaha, lionel wake up wake up!!! No obstacle this year, so by right i should do better than last yr right?

No one to affect you, so you can do it well this year. Focus focus, concentrate concentrate!!!

Mug everyday every night until May 7th then May 25th its good bye to education :)

hmmmm

to me, Edmond and Ming Tai are my best friends.

that means i'll do anything for them that's within my capability.

but do i weigh the same to them?

Dont know why, just thought of it.

Story of a star fish

Once a man was walking along a beach. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. Off in the distance he could see a person going back and forth between the surf's edge and and the beach. Back and forth this person went. As the man approached he could see that there were hundreds of starfish stranded on the sand as the result of the natural action of the tide.

The man was stuck by the the apparent futility of the task. There were far too many starfish. Many of them were sure to perish. As he approached the person continued the task of picking up starfish one by one and throwing them into the surf.

As he came up to the person he said, "You must be crazy. There are thousands of miles of beach covered with starfish. You can't possibly make a difference." The person looked at the man. He then stooped down and pick up one more starfish and threw it back into the ocean. He turned back to the man and said, "It sure made a difference to that one!"

some times

some times when some one said something and that some thing feels like some bull shit i cant help it but to point a middle finger to that some one.

It just feels so ridicules and stupid and dumb and doesnt make sense and no logic and practically asking for it.

It's like instinctively your middle finger will just stick out, some kinda sub conscious action that i had cultivated over the past few weeks.

Funny huh, actually no, i think instinctively that some one deserve my middle finger. One is an understatement 2 is still not enough how i wish i had 4

tuition

i had this feeling this year i'll be damn busy. Cuz of teaching, tuitioning and Uni studies.
Like all 3 things stack tgt and my schedule suddenly turns out to be very compact.

Initially i had only 2 tuition kids, 1 graduated so left with Shannon only. But Kenneth's parents intro another 2 more to me and now i turned out to have 3 tuition kids. Recently, there's a new kid in town who wants me to tuition too so now i had 4 plus Kenneth's dad gonna introduce the cousin to me. If i take on that i'll be having 5 tuition kids.

Which is pretty cool seriously!!!
Other than that, plus students from the school im teaching, i think i have quite a handful of them to teach.

Teaching this new kid in town, seriously. I'm speechless.. .. .. ..
He had tuition for last year and i had not idea what the hell is the damn tuition teacher doing. Must be one of those cheat money tutor again. But no, when i asked he told me she charged him very low. Like just wanna help him and stuff lidat. But doesnt look like helping seriously, if it's helping the grade wouldnt be like this already.

Sec 3 work, but im going through sec2 foundation with him. Picking up, which isnt very bad. Doing it slow and steady, hope i can rush the syllabus for him before his common test. Didnt wanna waste too much time on sec2 work.

As for Shannon, i think is i zui fang xin wan. Because she's very good alr, from B3 to A1 and her A1 is those A* grade. For the new Sec2 boy, there's some polishing to do, foundation for + - and multiplication of + and -. Gonna drill more of those on my next lessons.

Still, i think, if cant teach pls dont teach. But everyone has different priorities i guess.

Ring

My mum was packing my stuff and she found this ring where i hid it inside the Adidas paper bag. Come to think of it, i havent been wearing a ring for more than 8months ++
I looked at the ring, stoof there ponder for awhile, and went to my Gundam to retrieve this ring i had put there.

I couldnt rmb this rings belong to who, couldnt rmb the design and couldnt rmb when i worn it. I wear the ring, looked into the mirror. I totally forgot the feeling to have a ring. Funny? Weird? the feeling is so alien like i'm not use to it.

But after wearing the ring for awhile, i took it off. It was another sensation, i couldnt describe, like something is missing lol.

new year new hair new resolution

New year New Hair New Resolution
My 3months rule, never to keep a hairstyle for more than 3months. Currently revert back to spike, but it's different from the spike i use to have cuz this time round there's no fringe. So the front part is kinda like upward spiking.

(: What comes around goes around, what go up will eventually come down :)

New year new thing new news

hahahahahahahahahahaha~
I love the scent from the NEW YEAR!!!
I can sense that it's gonna be a good year, with good news :)

Wonderful christmas

Didnt manage to take finish all the presents, probably will do it again when i'm free :)
It was a wonderful christmas this year, able to do whatever i want and stuff lidat.

boredom

quite bored of Badminton alr, not because i lose interest in it.
Probably because i dont feel the kick anymore.
No one can satisfy my enormous appetite any longer.
My competitive nature has took over my rational mind.
I wanna play with strong opponent.

Guess that's me after all.
Same things goes for Magic, tennis & everything.

Christmas week

It's christmas week!!!
time to feel the christmas atmosphere and embrace this season of celebration.

Have fun and may god bless you :)

why?

Every time i felt that i'm good enough, or when i had the confident that i can play well. Then when i play with Edmond, everything just shuttered. All my confident kinda just vanished. I'll feel so demoralise, besides that i'm only left with 2 weeks. After this 2 weeks i doubt i'll be touching badminton that often anymore. By this 2 weeks, if i still couldnt reach the level i set for myself, I think even by 2010 nov 5th i cannot beat Edmond and will nv beat him.

So near yet so far

lazy to change the font lol

1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they're right & you'll need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this'll mean half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!

4) A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you're an idiot & she wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. It means she wants to think long & hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’, which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. (Do not say ‘you’re welcome’ - that will bring on No. 7).

7) Whatever: A woman’s way of saying; “F*** You!”

8) Dont worry, I've got it: Another dangerous statement. This'll be something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is doing it herself now. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response, refer to No. 4.

9) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. It means something & you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “Fine”.

Picture speak a thousand words

Jacob to do list for Eugene

James Esprit towel for Ryan (hinting Ryan he needs a bath)

mini speaker (i was praying damn hard i get to get that)

touching dvd from ling to Jacob

my free beer to James

the only exchange among the whole group. Mark and Eugene

Prize presentation to myself cuz Ryan left early

Doris prezzie

My body shop spray XD

strawberry from Doris

Candy bar from Jo

sweet things come in threes, Jo and Tse wei

Ken present to Ang

My 3liter treat :)

ta ta ta ta

another 1 liter of beer

Group photo w/o ryan, Ken, Eugene and James

Playing with Doris's polarised camera

Singing truly madly deeply

Shagged

-the end-

3 words what the fuck

3words what the fuck!!!

25th May i had MA & FR!!! kao la.. .. ..

11th May i had PBF and MSM!!! sweee bo

7th May MM.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

wtf?

met up with stanley

Chit chat with stanley, catch up abit. Talk bout Australia my studies and everything. Walked around ION and Raffles city, shop around n meet his compulsive liar friend. Seriously buey tahan, the guy just kept lying n lying n lying. i seriously dunno whether to believe him anot.

Damn irritating

badminton with ww

Had MA in the afternoon, damn sian, everything he says also dunno what he's talking about. But actually not only me la, lol. Wanted to copy the answers, but Ben is copying so i probably i'll copy it during MSM.

After MA, pass my file to Cresencia and i went to Clementi to play with WeiWan. Initially see WeiWan play so funny, cuz he kept missing all the shuttles. But as the game proceed, slowly he starts unleashing his true self. The smack is damn fast & everything, felt so eager to be in the opposite team as him.

After the game, went to eat pig organ soup before going back to lecture. The whole lecture i was reading Low Kay **** "i believe you", read until the lecture ends. Ended up today nv really listen to lecture too. But i did copy and highlight some stuff.

On the way home, Cresencia Xinyi and i decided to play Badminton on the eve of christmas lol. Which isnt that bad an idea LOL.

Collected my racket

Today, i ate Mcspicy +cheese EVM, Bakuteh + rice, Kindle Bueno, Double CHeese burger, Ba Kwa, Sour Cream chips and a coffee Bun. It's totally omg-ly fattening.

Earlier in the afternoon went Queens to collect my racket from the Uncle. Love the Red string, like totally wow, probably cuz it's red. Now the entire racket looks red, metallic red surface and strawberry red strings. LOL, except for the blue handle. Probably gonna change to Black or light red. PROBABLY!!!

Wanted to buy lace, but i totally forgot bout it. Super forgetful, cuz i was late for lecture.

Reached lecture ard 4+, sat beside mong and as usual we chit chat the entire lesson until break then accompany him & tai to smoke. I just stood there and chit chat while blowing the smoke to the opposite direction.

After school didn't study with tai cuz i had make up MSM, but too bad i nv bring my notes so i was playing with my wi fi the entire 3hrs and couldn't take my eyes off the red string. Can't wait to try it out tml with WeiWan lol.

Sat & Sun

following Sat & Sun i spend my time playing badminton. i'm quite confident to say that i had officially improved. i'm quite sure in all aspect i had improved alot alot compared to Nov 5th.

Deep within me, i can feel my sports competitive nature gushing out. Instead of improving or getting better, i had other agenda in mind. The only thing on my mind is victory and victory and more victory, improving and getting better has became a norm to me.

I don't feel content anymore, like it's not enough. This is not enough, that is not enough. Everything is not enough. I wanna take part in tournament, i wanna go for competition, i wanna have more exposure. I wanna be in it and not only playing it.

Enough for now, lol.